”“No! I want to, please just give me a moment. It was my idea to actually do this because it excites me as much as it does you.”“Okay, but anytime you want to stop, give me the sign.”Once inside, I take a moment to scan the bar. It too has been chosen carefully. The piano plays soft jazz as the lone bartender restocks while topping up the occasional businessperson's scotch. At this time in the evening only a few professionals are here, most are already home and some are still at their desks determined to achieve some lofty goal.I take a moment as I enter, scanning the area. Two men sit at a table talking over some deal of some kind. Another three sit at lone tables nursing whatever spirit eases the stresses of a businessman's day and two more sit at the bar. Expeditiously looking them over, I pick the one on the right and ease my way toward him. There is no particular logic to the choice, the only reason I later discern, came down to blue or black suits. The black suit on the right. I put up a good front and continued to take her to school, but it was draining on me. She was giving Darren what I so desperately wanted. I know she felt the distance that I put between us, but she didn't say anything.She finally moved to the West coast. I didn't see her off. Darren was going to take her to the airport. I just couldn't take that pain. Karen had left, but in some destructive way, I missed her.Now I had to decide if I wanted to open up those wounds again. I had closed that part of my past for years until I received an email on my personal account:Mr. Gilliam,Are you the same Bill Gilliam that went to Franklin High School in 1975 and drove a red Pontiac? If you are, please reply. I have thought about you a lot through the years.Love, KarenI answered it before I even thought about it. I probably should have ignored it, but something made me go ahead and write a reply. The emails flew back and forth as we told each other about our lives. I was still single and she was.
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